I’ve Been Drinking Watermelon: The Vagina Myths.

I, too, was sold that lie, sis. In preparation for a DA (dick appointment) I’d make sure to get a carton of pineapple juice and drink it a few days before my appointment comes to me. Mowing the lawn and downing drinks full of sugar just for dick? Good god, thank goodness for growth. I await the day articles on how to take care of your penis and balls will be spread all over magazines because honestly, some most of you need those tips.

In Drunk in Love, the Queen of Everything, Beyoncé, sings “I’ve been drinking watermelon” to suggest that her vagina is sweet tasting. I don’t dispute this – Queens faeces probably has chunks of gold… Now I’m just being nasty and digressing. What the lyric suggest is that the watermelon aids in making the vagina taste “better”; hello myth number 1.

Myth 1: Juices make your vagina sweet
This lie is one told to make women with vulvas and vaginas feel like their natural taste isn’t good enough. It’s not enough that we are told that our pubic hairs have to be waxed, shaved or damn near anything to make sure that not a spec of hair follicle is seen, we are also told that the vagina is not good in its natural state. It’s not “sweet tasting” enough. It doesn’t smell “right” – now if there’s an infection, there might be a change in odour and/or discharge and that’s down to you to know your scent, what your discharge is normally like and when it changes. And yes, every woman with vulvas and vaginas have their own distinct scent.

This is not to say your diet is not important for the care of your vagina. High sugar intake can, in fact, promote the overproduction of yeast in the vagina which results in a yeast infection that may be recurrent if your diet isn’t assessed. So with that, drinking all these concentrated juices in order to “taste” right, leaves a breeding ground for yeast to flourish as well as it not making you taste any “better”, beloved. What I’m about to say is incredibly cliché but cliché’s tend to be the truth – Water is your vagina’s best friend. Drinking enough water will help your vagina secretion be the best it can be. If your partner(s) want your vagina to taste like flavours of ice-creams, remind them that you are not a Cornetto.

Myth 2: Your vagina has a right smell
I touched on this with myth 1. Our vagina are expected to have a perfume scent or be like flowers but not smell like an actual vagina, anything but. So we get products sold in supermarkets, local stores, telling us that our vagina doesn’t smell right and using this product will give it that “fresh” scent. Hello, bullshit! But men, whose balls smell like they havent known water since their parents stopped washing them, do not have a section in a supermarket aisle for “penis care”.

Try going into a supermarket and counting the number of products you’ll see that have to do with vaginal odour. The Vagisil and FemFresh brand are probably the most popular one.

STOP PUTTING SCENTED SOAP ANYWHERE NEAR YOUR VULVA/VAGINA.

Let me be amongst the people who repeat this: scented soaps/shower gels disrupts the pH levels in the vagina leading it to irritation and infection. I would hope we all knew this by now, but if you didn’t know, your vagina is self-cleaning. It does all the cleaning for you – we call it discharge. So using soaps and douche to “clean” the vagina stops the bacteria in there from controlling the acidity thus destroying the normal pH levels. This then leads to bacterial vaginosis which results in a strong odour – so in trying to make your vagina “smell right” you just might actually make it smell worse. Go to your nearest sex health clinic or GP (General Practitioner) about this.

Once again, water is your vagina’s (well vulva) best friend. All it needs is warm water to clean your outer and inner labia and you’re good to go. But, importantly again, your diet can also affect the scent. What we put in our body will affect what comes out, so you’ll find that our diet affects smell on our body in general. I’m not a nutritionist, I’m not a health fanatic and I’m certainly not going to force anyone to do anything because I’m a hypocrite – I’m addicted to sugar and i know it’s bad for me. But i try and i think that’s all we can do.

Love your vagina.

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